The Actual Difference Self-Confidence and Respect Makes

"Bayside Couple" by mrhayata @ flickr

I stumbled upon this article, The Actual Difference Between Women Who Are Hot And Who Are Beautiful, by Lauren Martin while she makes an excellent distinction between being described as "hot" versus "beautiful" as a woman, she begins her article with negative undertones towards men. 

She begins by listing different adjectives with sexual innuendos that are used to describe a woman's appearance. Eventually, she distinguishes it's not all men who determine a woman's worth by their sex appeal, however, for most of the article she treats men as a whole, essentially describing them as sex crazed, only seeing women as objects. 

I have some issues with this argument because it's not fully one-sided as she makes it seem. Women describe men with adjectives that are suggestive, such as hot and sexy. We put pressure on them about having the perfect set of abs and arms, the slightly rugged look similar to David Beckham. They shouldn't be overweight or underweight. We put a lot of pressure on them too and forget to use the words like handsome and attractive to describe one we like. 



I feel as if her article is directed towards men to read the last half, possibly getting an idea of the difference it takes for a woman to become "hot." But beginning with the slight slamming of men right from the start turns them off from continuing through the article. 

Through a woman's perspective the first paragraph catches my attention but she makes it seem that all women have hair extensions and constantly are dolled up trying to meet a man. She has negative undertones about the hair extensions, stilettos, and miniskirts. She makes a point to say that men don't focus on the uniqueness of each woman but then makes it seem every woman is a carbon copy of Barbie.

Lauren has the perfect platform and the ability to empower women in this article and misses her opportunity in this article. There's nothing wrong with a woman who likes to wear miniskirts or have hair extensions. If a woman likes to wear those that doesn't mean she's doing it just to appear hot to a guy. Maybe that's just what she likes. There's nothing wrong about not wearing make up every day. It doesn't mean you won't catch a man's attention. Plenty of guys will still notice a girl without a painted face. 

What attracts a man to a woman is the self-confidence she gets when she believes she is looking attractive. It's not the extensions or fake tans. It's her confidence. If a woman is as confident as she is when she goes out on a Friday night every day of the week regardless how she looks, she'll still catch the attention of men. 

The real problem about the adjectives with sexual undertones is that society counts that as a norm to describe each other, men and women. It is no one's fault but the only way to stop it is to stop seeing each other as objects for sexual desires and to treat everyone equally with respect. If someone describes you in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable then don't allow it. There are plenty more people out there to meet that are respectful and will call you beautiful or handsome.