Deal-breakers

Relationships are tough. I only been in one serious relationship that lasted 2 years and a bunch of "oh we're dating but I only see you in school and we don't talk outside of school" relationships. I don't really count the latter since most of those averaged out at 9 days. Then a couple that were on the way to being serious but died after a few months. It happens. They're all very unique life experiences.

Why am I bringing up my past T-Swift inspiring failed relationships? Well, through these relationships I have realized some of my personal deal-breakers. I also had a conversation about deal-breakers  with an old friend the other day, so I thought of compiling a list of what my very practical and somewhat odd deal-breakers are for a blog post.

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Deal-Breakers

1. If he's not willing to frolic in an empty playground with me. I don't care how old I am and how childish this seems. Playgrounds are cool.

2. Not being grateful when I cook or bake something specifically for you. It's just decent manners. I'm not saying to praise my cooking. I'm not the best cook. But if it's my food I'm cooking and letting you eat then you should at least say thank you; and not compare it to something you rather be eating.

3. But seriously if I bake something and I know it tastes really good and you say you don't taste a specific component of that item. I will not forget it.

4. Calling me hot. I am not hot. Acceptable words are: cute, adorable, and beautiful/gorgeous. Not hot.

5. Excessive amounts of consuming alcohol. Drinking to get drunk is so lame when it's on the daily. And bad for your liver.

6. LITTERING. SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU LITTER NEAR ME I WILL BITCH YOU OUT.

7. No higher education. When you ask what am I writing a paper on and I reply "analyzing the nature versus nurture argument as it pertains to a character in a play by one of Shakespeare's contemporaries" and then you have no idea what I'm talking about. UGH. Nature versus nurture is something you learned in high school.

8. Drugs/smoking. I care about my lungs.

9. "I want to get baptized in goats blood."

10. "I prefer Decepticons"

11. Disrespect. To me. To others. To everyone.

12. Ignoring me while I'm talking or talking over me. I know I talk quiet. And I repeat stories a lot because I'm forgetful. Just humor me.

13. Taking a joke the wrong way and getting upset but not telling me. I know I am also monotone but if I'm saying something that sounds mean, it's 95% of the time an awkward attempt at playful teasing. And if I hurt you then obviously communicate it and not give me the silent treatment.

14. Dissing my religious beliefs. I'm not saying you have to believe what I do, but again, respect.

15. Not leaving me alone. Ever. I'm an introvert. I need my alone time. Being away from you and getting spammed text is not alone time. It's frustrating.

16. Last deal-breaker. If the guy is always serious and can't be dorky. Dorky meaning awkward little dancing, singing, cartoons, playgrounds, funny faces. Overall, having fun being silly.