Signs You Might be in a Bad Relationship

This song is different than the others I've written about because it is in Japanese. I don't know Japanese except a few words and phrases due to my nerd outs on anime, so please don't expect me to translate. I'm pretty much assuming the lyrics are along the lines of what is being portrayed in the MV. That being said, here is my commentary.

I'm not sure if everyone can relate to this video. However, THIS WAS MY LIFE FOR A SEMESTER (4 MONTHS). I'm a person who tends to over-think things after it's all said and done. Especially if I'm constantly reminded of it. I noticed it all comes down to perspective. At the time, all of my friends saw me as the girl in the video- miserable and unattached. I thought I was happy because he met everything on the list of what I thought I wanted. My perspective in the relationship was clouded by my ideals. I didn't realize I was in a bad relationship till it was over....


I mean a friend sent me this video in hopes I'd realize I should break up with the guy. I commented on how that was totally mine and his dynamic, laughed about it, and then stayed with him for another 2 months.

WHO DOES THAT?! Me. Because I can be an idiot who is also a hopeless romantic and clings on the tiny bit of good even if I'm miserable because I have issues.

I also like lists. And as a reminder to myself, along with possibly helping you, here's a list of...

Signs You Might be in a Bad Relationship

1. He interrupts you, constantly.

It's not just occasionally. It gets to the point you're telling a charming story of your childhood and he interrupts saying something completely unrelated. You may not notice the bad habit at first, but when you're talking about something emotional and he does this, it's a bit more obvious.

2. It feels like he's ignoring you.

This ties in with the interrupting. And you'll start to feel like you should just stay quiet because what you have to say isn't that amazing. This leads to awkward silence anytime you both go out to eat together.

3. There is no affection except for in the bedroom.

There's no hand holding, goodbye hugs or kisses in public places. In fact, if a stranger sees you walking along a street together, they would assume you're platonic friends or related.

4. Silent Treatment.

You said something meant to be harmless, instead it hit a nerve and he will no longer talk. You will spend the next hour trying to get him to say what is wrong. When he finally does you have to apologize and will feel like you're a bad person.

5. Not walking in sync.

Warning: If this is paired with silent treatment it will be an uncomfortable drive home. He will either stay way behind you or walk so far in front of you and get irritated if you don't run to keep up.

6. He avoids having you around his friends. 

He says it's because he doesn't want you to feel uncomfortable since you're a bit introverted; but waits for a big Halloween party for you to meet all of them at once.

7. He gets embarrassed by you dressing up for said Halloween Party. 

He wasn't going to dress up and you'll stand out. You only stand out because you kept it conservative compared to most of the costumes and he stands out for being lame.

8. He's all talk, no action.

He talks about things he'll do for you and it's all sweet and charming. But he never comes through.

9. You ask to hang out, he says he's busy. You say sex, he jumps on the next bus.

This is pretty much self-explanatory. You will feel like a sex object. You will feel like this is all you're good for especially due to your past of being told that's all you're good for. You're so much more than that but with him you won't see that.

10. He leaves immediately after intercourse. 

He has important things to do after he cleans himself off.

11. He doesn't want you to take any pictures of him.

You can take a picture of his back while he's walking away from you. Don't worry that doesn't symbolize anything unless you're an English major and into that.

______________________________________________________________

No one deserves to be treated like that, especially by someone who you think cares about you. I would like to think if I made this list I would have broken up with him sooner. I know I wouldn't. I saw it through rose colored glasses. He's not a horrible guy. Everyone would say how much of a nice guy he is. I clung on to that. But now I realized he made me feel like I was weird, unimportant and a sex object.

But this isn't all a sob story. I learned a lot about myself. Someone can meet everything on the list of what you think you want but are not actually perfect for you. And if I don't respect myself enough then anyone can take advantage of that. 

Side note: I have met someone since. It did feel like I was moving too quick. But this guy makes me feel like everything I say is important, that I'm intelligent, talented, he's affectionate and helpful, and I am completely smitten. I have realized this is how you should feel in a relationship.